If you're new to the scene & want to begin to understand how it ticks, &/or want to know what it can do for you, then we strongly recommend Ishmael Skyes' book, Free Wealin' - A Hitch-hiker's Guide To The Scene. We'd recommend it even if we do not publish it ourselves, but we do. It is £œ7.50 Even if you've been around a while we still recommend it.
It makes lots of valid points, amongst the humour - it's funny & sexy too. Most relevant to many is that he confirms that whatever it is you seek, there are a lot like you out there. More to the point, that it is possible, usually, to find somebody with the complementary orientation & gender to your own desires. Moreover that you can usually find such people without vast expenditure in money, though it will usually cost lots of time & effort.
However, life being what it is, the search is not going to be straightforward. He suggests you first go get involved & find your way around. In doing so you'll confirm that whatever it is you think you want, really is what you want. Or conversely to find out what it really is that you want.
Then, once you know your way around, that you begin enjoy play on the scene for its own sake. He presumes you may not find a permanent playmate by that means. (It's entirely possible but it doesn't happen for most.) He then recommends finding somebody you get on with, who still thinks they're 'straight', but who has got an inclination toward the scene. Then you introduce them to it. It works for him & has for other friends of our's too.
He also writes that most clubs, groups, companies, etc. active in the scene, (rather than the wholesale pornographers who simply exploit it), are small, only marginally profitable (if at all) and desperate for help. Anybody volunteering to help and actually proving useful, can be sure of a fast route to insider status, a thorough introduction & usually a lot of fun too.
That has certainly been true for most who've helped here. Some of them have gone on to "proper" jobs. (Often helped by the skills learned here &/or the references we can & will provide.) Others have got the girl (or Man) they sought.
We are growing rapidly, and have now moved Sir Guy's part of the business to a small workshop on an industrial estate. For the first time ever we have the space and facilities to make the most of anybody's efforts in person here, or to publish whatever material comes our way.
This book is written to help you decide whether you can help us, whether you want to, and possibly how. We recommend you read it all, even if the particular section does not seem to apply to you. It may well help put your possible contribution in context.
Writing
Content (subjects & context to use)
Our main subjects are adult school, corporal punishment, cross-dressing, trans-gender, maid training, human ponies, puppies & piggies, dominance, submission, humiliation, bondage, etc. If it directly touches on these it will be of interest. As is anything of related or in similar fields, such as slave training, bondage, etc. Within these, any association of genders (male, female, trans-sexual, transvestite) or orientation (Dominant, submissive, sadistic, masochist, heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual) is fine. Anything outside these limits will be considered on its merits & potential profitability.
Stories may be of a real or fantasy past, present or future, domestic or foreign. In the home, school, workplace, indeed absolutely anywhere, any time. Stories told from the point of view of a girl &/or the submissive or recipient of the attention seem to be more popular.
Limits (subjects & context to leave out)
Most of all it mustn't be kiddie-porn. This doesn't mean that all characters must necessarily & at all times be adult. That would mean that we couldn't publish e.g. a memoir of childhood. However it does mean that if it dwells pruriently on cruel treatment, punishment, sexual &/or other exploitation, etc. of minors, it will be destroyed on receipt. Anything that proves or strongly implies complicity in such acts done in reality may be handed to the authorities.
Be very careful too around (& avoid wherever possible) deliberate or needless cruelty to people or animals, gore, maiming, scat (shit), non-consensual scenes. Avoid an obsessional interest in some minority areas that can raise hackles amongst non-enthusiasts, such as e.g. rubber, branding, blade-play, pissing, piercing, etc. helps too.
Form (length & structure)
We have published novellas or collections of 20,000 or more words to publish in 'staple in the centre' A5 booklet form. However we have ceased doing that to concentrate for now on more promising projects, though this Autumn we will be issuing a batch of new titles in a A4 new format with a colour cover. We may some day publish in perfect-bound paperback or hardback, but it'll take more capital investment than we have for now.
Stick to what turns you on and ideally what you know. It shows in your writing if you are uninterested in the subject or have little direct experience. A conventional structure is fine, as is almost any other. However anything too self-consciously trendy or obscure is likely to put the readers off - they do not read our books for literary merit or innovation! (Though I think they may find it more often than cynics would expect.)
Short stories, up to 2,000 words are of interest for publication in The Muir Journal or The Other Pony Express, etc. We don't pay for them, though stories from authors of other books does help sales. Stories of intermediate length may be aggregated together & published as a collection of short stories.
Blurb & Pictures
If you can write your own précis or summary description of the story, for publication e.g. on the inside front or back cover to entice the reader, then please do. We may still modify it to optimise sales, but it helps us a lot. Similarly, some words about the author, fictional or factual, as you choose. Even a photo or sketch.
If you can supply a picture or pictures, as a drawing or photo for the front cover &/or use within the text, that too is much appreciated. See section for illustrators for details. Do, however, ensure that I would not be infringing copyright if I use it.
Neither of these are essential, but it is much more likely you will be happy with the final results than if I write the blurb after a quick skim or just grab the first picture that may perhaps have only a very distant relationship to the contents of the book. I regret that under pressure I have done both, at times!
What I do need, however, is a pen-name. I will invent one if needed, but again you are likely to be happier with one of your choice.
Presentation (WP, Typewriter or Hand-writing, etc.)
I like manuscripts to come by email (ideally as an rtf attachment), next best is on a floppy or Zip disk or CD. After that typed or printed e.g. hard-copy from a word-processor. Least favourite is hand-writing. However I prefer an exciting story as a barely legible manuscript, to dull stuff in polished digits! (See TYPE .. section later for more detail.) English-language only (in the UK, US, Australian, etc. variants preferably) unless otherwise agreed.
Do use both upper & lower case. If I get stories ALL IN CAPITALS, regardless of their merit they're usually binned without even being read in full. I immediately presume that the writer never progressed to joined-up lettering at junior school. Unfair on many I know, but I don't have too much time to sort out the rare gems from acres of dross.
Spelling (Including Using Spell-checkers)
Spelling does matter, but perfect spelling is not crucial as I can readily correct it if the content makes it worthwhile. Please use a spell-checker if your spelling is good enough to get it right unaided. If necessary, get yourself a paper dictionary as well.
Most word-processor spell-checkers default to US English, which is fine if you're American (or even Canadian). However if you're English, do please try to find and use the option most have to select the UK English dictionary. If you are using Microsoft Word & have problems then ring up & I will talk you through it.
Do try to sort out the common homonyms (words that sound the same but have different meanings): there/their/they're, its/it's, to/too/two, here/hear, bare/bear, etc. The difficult misspellings for us to find are the perfectly correctly spelled words that are just the wrong word for the context!
Punctuation
Do try to get it right, though I accept that it is an inexact art. If you cannot always be right, do try to be consistent at least. There are some excellent books about the subject, which I recommend you get yourself. Even the best of us get confused sometimes. Often the more you think about it, the worse it gets. US or UK punctuation subtly differ - I don't care which you use, if you're consistent.
Grammar (inc. grammar-checkers)
Remember please that not all our readers have the benefit of higher education. I do not know why, but very many of our readers seem to be dyslexic, more than one would expect. For many readers English is not their native language. So please do keep the grammar simple. Short words. Short sentences. Short paragraphs. Try to avoid the passive voice ('he was beaten'), as is generally taught to use for technical reports. Use active voice, direct and explicit language instead; ('she spanked him soundly with the hairbrush'). Try to avoid uncommon or multi-syllabic words where plain words will do. ('Condign' is a good example of what kind of word to avoid!)
I believe in grammar checkers, though I ignore half at least of their recommendations. I do act on the useful half that they do point up, as they are often just the sort of thing that should be corrected, but will not be picked-up by a manual proof-reader. Typically these may be too long or convoluted sentences, inappropriate extra spaces, use of clichés, etc. Things to ignore are the recommendations about politically correct, non-gender-specific language!
The readability score that Word gives seems to be meaningful, i.e. texts that seem to me (without the aid of a computer) to be long-winded, pompous and obscure come with scores of 50 or less. Whereas texts that seem eminently clear score 80+. 80 is the target I like to see, 70 or so as a minimum.
Rewards (In Cash Or Kind)
My paperwork is not up to recording exactly how many copies I sold retail, wholesale or gave away as samples or threw in the bin because a sheet was blank.
So my deal is simple enough for even me to cope with. It used to be that for a basic 15,000 or so word booklet of 30-40 pages I offer œpound;100 worth of credit or œpound;40 worth of cash. Half on initial print & publication of 100 copies. Half when I reprint (if I reprint). Most titles do go to reprint, but only a few have been reprinted a second time.
The new format I will be publishing is A3 folded to a half-inch narrower than A4, 64+ pages, dramatically illustrated front cover in colour, with the inner pages often extensively illustrated. (Similar in many ways to The Other Pony Express 4.) I will be printing 1,000 at a time. If anybody des the cover artwork, pictures and all the words inside and I can publish it with little or no amendment then I am prepared to pay £300 or give £500 in credit on publication. With a further £150 or give £250 in credit on every occassion I reprint. I consider the cover picture to be almost as important as the whole of the contents, after all it is what sells it. So if you just write novels then you can expect no more than half these sums.
Established authors are generally allowed to borrow as many books from the list we publish as they like, provided they are returned in good condition ..
Credit may be used for any of the good or services that The Academy Club and/or Miss Prim offers, except that at least half Miss Prim's interview or course fees must be paid in money. I normally send cheques, but cash is OK if more convenient, provided you can sign a receipt. The payment is on publication, usually about the time of a mailing.
Other deals are possible, where for instance I pay you in copies of your own or other books that you could go out and sell and thereby make more profit. Or I can print it for you, charging you for the printing by retaining a proportion of the print-run.
Typing, Scanning, Proof-reading, Sub-Editing
These are the most time-consuming jobs and they can be done at a distance. However as I can get it done by sending it out and receiving the completed work by email attachment, I am uninterested in anybody doing such work if they do not have that facility.
By typing I really mean word-processing, of course. The 'raw' speed of a typist is not particularly important to me, as the remuneration is per 1,000 words typed, not per time taken. However the 'turnaround time' from my sending it out for typing and getting it back is. Accuracy is vital too. Ideally a typist should have sufficient knowledge of spelling, punctuation, grammar, etc., that the text comes back to me typed, with fewer errors than the author included.
By scanning I mean scanning typescript or output from incompatible word-processors by Optical Character Recognition into digits. (Usually accompanied by taking out the errors such a process introduces.)
By proofing I mean taking a text and correcting the spelling, punctuation & grammar to a good standard, without substantially changing it.
By sub-editing I mean improving the flow, by e.g. breaking up long &/or rambling sentences, and correcting all the minor errors of punctuation, spelling and grammar, eliminating clichés, etc.
To see if sub-editing is needed I use two tests. One is to use the grammar-checker. I cycle through, ignoring all rules as I go. I look for the readability score. The other test is to pick a paragraph at random, towards the end. I go through manually, noting errors. If the average number of mistakes per line gets anywhere close to 1/line or the readability 50 or less, I go to town and either get it done properly, or put it aside "until I have time". (The usual reason for delays.) Otherwise it's a quick once-over, skimming through correcting any glaring errors.
To do the sub-editing itself I first go through using the grammar checker as intended. Other grammar checkers, such as Grammatick, may be as good. (Though one always has to be very selective when using such tools.) Another, simpler, method of shortening sentence length is just to search for commas &/or the word "and" or ampersands ("&"). Then replace every comma, and & ampersand that can be so replaced by "full stop. New sentence." (Remembering to do a line by line search for other punctuation, spelling or grammar errors as you go.)
As the quality of input is highly variable I usually ship the job to the volunteer for a quote - but for guidance I do not expect to pay as much for typing/scanning/proofing & sub-editing a story, than I pay an author initially.
This is also one of the jobs that people working here do. If it is something you think you would like to do, then by all means ask - but you may have to bring your own computer.
What I run
Nowadays I am actually using Office 2000,running under Windows 2000 on a Pentium II. I use Word and Publisher for now, because it is what I am used to, came free with the machine and is one of the better, if more bloated, systems around. There is no particular reason why writers should use it too. However I do have problems with documents from versions of Corel Word Perfect, Word Star and Claris Works, from embedded commands, etc. which confuse the Microsoft products. When in doubt keep it simple, generating plain text with an absolute minimum of control codes, complex formatting, etc. Chances are I will throw most of it away anyway, to achieve publication in 'The House Style'.
I use several art and publishing packages; Photoshop, Corel, Quark, Microsoft Publisher, etc. For modest systems I would heartily recommend Paint Shop Pro, shareware which is fast even on a slow 386 and quite capable enough for many purposes.
If you are actually doing proof-reading for me, then I would recommend Word for the spell- and grammar checker. However I am quite prepared to believe that other software, may be even better. But before investing great effort, it is best to check that no errors are introduced translating it back.
Preferred Text Transfer Format
For simplicity, compatibility, accuracy, minimum data and to avoid swopping macro viruses, my preferred format is Rich Text Format, rtf files. Most modern word-processors, whatever the hardware, operating system and software, will save in rtf. Just explore the menus, it is usually there as an option.
Default Text Transfer Format
Otherwise as a Microsoft WORD V2 file. I can sort almost anything else out too, but most email or computer users should be able to use one of these formats.
If you cannot save as one of the above, then text format is OK for 90% of manuscripts. It is essential, though, that if you send me a manuscript in txt format that you leave a clear line between each paragraph. That enables me to eliminate the extra carriage returns that get put in, when data is sent in this format. Do remember though, that it will not cope with pound; signs, smart quotes ("'"), accents (éçü), italics, bold, diphongs (æœ), other symbols (©®), etc. If you want to use one, put a symbol (eg*) in the text & write a note for me to 'search & replace'.
Preferred Transfer Medium
I prefer email because it is quick, accurate, easy for me to take in, edit, sort-out and comment on. Especially for proof-reading, as by the nature of the world I usually want the text back, proof-read and corrected NOW!
I can interpret most of the common formats, MIME, zip-files, UUENCODE, BASE64, whatever. Just send something small in what your system suggests. I'll see what I can do. If it works, that's fine, if not I'll suggest an alternative. Please don't send large graphics files (i.e. over 50k) unless specifically requested and please no emails, etc. with more than 500 kB at a time!
Default Transfer Media, Disks
By disk is best, ideally 3½ in. 5¼ in if you send in a very stiff backing. Not Amstrad PCW 3 in. Either formatted as 1.44 MB HD, 720 k DD, even 360k for those running old Amstrads, Starwriters (dedicated disk-based WPs), etc.
100 MB ZIP disks are excellent for large graphics or publisher files, etc. If you're using 2MB IBM format disks (e.g. under OS/2) I can probably get them translated, but would prefer not. As I use a PC-based system a disk formatted under such a system is best, but I have transferred data from Amiga & Mac machines.
Please follow the above guidelines. Ring for help if you get stuck. I can sort out almost anything, but most problems are with files from Mac or other non-PC-compatible machines, WordStar, etc.
File Names
Please don't use long file names, or unusual file-naming conventions. Just a basic 8 alpha-numeric digit filename + 3 digit extension, ideally in industry standard form, e.g. xxxxxxxx.txt for a text file, yyyyyyyy.doc for a Word file, etc.
Hard Copy (typescripts)
If your system really is incompatible with everything else, (or is a typewriter), then if you can print out a tidy copy, then I can read it using my scanner and Optical Character Recognition. However it can be time-consuming, correcting the scrambling that can happen. If you've used carbon, a very grey printer ribbon, a worn typewriter, one with bunged-up hammers or a dot-matrix printer, or if it a poor photocopy, then it may be easier to get it copy typed.
Even if you send on disk or by email, please send hard-copy as well if you can, for me to check my version corresponds fully to yours, as a fall-back and because it is easier for me to skim it quickly from paper than a screen. This applies especially first-time around.
If you only send it as hard copy, try to make it one side of the paper only, with a generous margin and space between lines. Use a 10-12 point clean and simple typeface. Ideally off a laser, inkjet printer or daisy-wheel printer. (But do clean the daisy-wheel first if you can.)
If you only have a dot-matrix printer, then try to use a newish ribbon. (If all else fails a quick squirt of WD40 into the ribbon housing will sometimes revive a worn-out ribbon for one final use.)
Hard Copy (Manuscripts)
Do please try to be legible! Especially, if your orientation is Dominant. (We find a strong correlation between submissiveness and legibility!) Please use one side of the paper only. Ideally a plain (not lined) paper of reasonable weight, 80 gsm or better. (Most books are printed on 75 gsm - notice that you can see the words on the back of the page if you hold it up to the light.) Ideally use a black (not red, blue or green) pen. A very fine fibre-tip, roller-ball, ball-point or fountain pen. Not a pencil, broad fibre or felt-tip. Please leave plenty of space between lines.
Free Materials
I'm quite happy to supply a modest quantity of paper, suitable pens or a disk or two, to those whose means are limited, whether writer or illustrator.
Content (Subjects And Context)
Anything in our main subject areas; adult school, corporal punishment, uniforms, human ponies, puppies, bondage, fetish-wear, etc. Any gender, aspect. If stuck I'm happy to send articles or books for you to illustrate and/or scanned photos as a basis for drawings. Sets or series of photographs or drawings are particularly valuable to us. We can give them to an author to weave a story around.
Please ensure that all involved are clearly adult. If anyone's in school uniform (or clothes appropriate to a minor) and the picture includes corporal punishment, etc., please ensure all faces, etc. are recognisably and obviously adult. Please try to avoid any illustration where the subject of corporal punishment is actually bound or physically restrained, or shows serious marks. Avoid details of genitalia, do not show intercourse or natural functions or particularly painful or dangerous bondage.
On Paper, (Types, Style And Format)
To us as publishers and printers, there are only three sorts of illustration in "hard copy" (paper): colour, grey scale or line art.
Colour includes all colour photographs, colour plates or pages from books, drawings by whatever method; pencil, felts, pastel, water-colours or oils, etc.
Greyscale is all black and white photographs, all pictures from any source that include tones of grey as well as black and white. Please note that if you use graphite or coloured pencils, then it is essential to use a spray fixative afterwards.
Line art is pictures where every point is either pure black or white, e.g. pen and ink work. (Most pencil work is grey scale.)
We want colour for the web, covers of The Muir Journal, The Other Pony Express and any future hard- or paperback books. We want greyscale or line art for e.g. booklet covers or the inside pages of The Journal or TOP Express.
To use illustrations we will always scan them. So no bigger than A4 please, ideally with at least a half inch (12mm) margin all round. We can scan larger, but they would have to be absolutely vital and/or excellent quality to bother to take the trouble needed. They come out best if drawn on good quality, heavy paper, without lines. We are always happy to provide suitable supplies if you need it.
Remember that for book covers the shape to fill is roughly A4, but somewhat narrower, and that we will want to put the title and author's name somewhere. So usually we want 'portrait' (higher than it is wide) rather than landscape. If it could cover the whole cover, then there should be areas devoid of detail over which we can 'float' the title.
We can always reduce colour to grey scale, and from there to line art, but not the other way around, as most of the information is lost in the transition.
Whether we want colour, greyscale or line art depends on context - in general line art was best for book covers for our 'staple in the centre' booklets, because it leaps out off the catalogue page best. We will however use colour (though we cannot actually print in colour) for book covers in future.
Digitised Drawings
We are always happy to receive photographs or drawings in electronic form, by email, on floppy, Zip disk or CD. If sent by email please use the GIF or JPG format, for minimum digits. We can usually decode other formats, though. Please send each picture as a separate email and do not send anything unsolicited that is bigger than 50 kB. If I specifically request a high-res. image, then try to keep it below 500k, and never more than 1 Mbit. See section on text for further details.
Copyright And Model Release(s)
We don't need exclusive copyright, but it's essential that any images you send us are your copyright to assign, not somebody else's. We are too scrupulous (and vulnerable ourselves) to want to infringe on others' intellectual property rights.
Unless otherwise indicated we will assume that we have permission to publish anything sent to us, and that whoever sent it has the right to license the copyright.
If supplying photographs, do please include either a copy of the model(s) model release(s) or at least witnessed, dated, signed, statement that you hold them. (Sorry US laws are getting very fussy.) See below as a sample, if required.
We presume that unless otherwise stated we will have permission to publish.
Rewards (In Cash Or Kind)
If we solicit drawings, e.g. for a book or magazine cover, then we can pay anything up to the the same sum we pay on publication of a book; œpound;120 in cash or œpound;200 in credit. For unsolicited work we will make an offer if payment is requested.
As with established authors, artists doing a lot of drawings for us can borrow as many of the books we publish as they wish, 2 or 3 at a time, provided they come back in good condition. We do not want anybody running short on inspiration!
Crafts
If you can work in wood, leather or other materials, to make products we may be able to sell, e.g. paddles, straps, harness, etc., we would be delighted to buy your wares in to sell on to our customers. It's essential though that you respond quickly to orders or queries (phone or email - post is too slow, fax too time-wasting), that you are cost-competitive and offer goods that will sell to our customers.
We prefer standard products, "one size fits all". If made to measure, e.g. harness, clothing, etc. we are prepared to discuss "order to ship"; we advertise, get orders, send the negotiated %age, customer's name and address to you and you ship direct.
Trading
We'll always consider a deal to buy or swop goods, new or second-hand. We also offer books we publish ourselves at very competitive prices, to anyone able to buy in bulk. Miss Prim is happy to sell audio and video tapes (if BBFC approved) at sensible prices too.
Premises
We need premises for Miss Prim to run schools for a day or several, Sir Guy seeks places he can exercise &/or stable his ponies for an afternoon, weekend or week. Miss Prim seeks premises too, for interviewing potential pupils or e.g. hold mini-day schools in places other than Hereford - e.g. London or Home Counties.
If you have any ideas or suggestions for places that may be sufficiently private (the place need not be your own) then contact us to discuss. Anything from a castle to the corner of a field, a warehouse, barn, holiday cottage, industrial unit or town house. It it is private enough and we have exclusive use, we can use it somehow.
We will pay reasonable hire fees and are even prepared to pay a finder's fee in cash or kind for anywhere that we use.
Finance
We're limited in our expansion mostly by shortage of working capital. If you have several thousand pounds (or dollars) to invest then we have a range of possible packages, which may well be mutually satisfactory. Ring us to discuss.
Computer And Internet Help
We rely on computers a lot, yet we're by no means experts. If you can supply hardware or software, help us customise it to our requirements, then we'd like to hear from you. Expertise in comms, networks and databases is needed especially.
Increasingly we rely on the net too. We are seeking moderators for our listservers. We are also happy to link to reputable organisations that we can genuinely recommend to you.
Contra-Deals, Advertising/Leaflet Swop, Link To web Sites, Etc.
This is the main way we have expanded over the years. We do not give out addresses to anybody except those few carefully chosen suppliers with whom we trade on an 'Order To Ship' basis. However we will distribute a few thousand flyers for you, (we will even design and print them if you pay us), if you can do the same for us. we will mention your web site on our's if you will do the same for us.
If you are associated with a magazine in any way, we will happily supply some material (text and pictures in whatever medium you choose) for an editorial mention, or artwork for a display advert if you send artwork for your advert in our catalogue.
Full or Part-time
We can't, for now, offer 24 hr/day 'in rôle' on a 7-day week basis. For short periods, e.g. at The Muir Academy, we offer 24 hr/day work in rôle as a teacher, maid or cook. If they wish, helpers may be 'in rôle' for the working day, other times live on a more relaxed basis, e.g. as a lodger, paying guest, 'au-pair' or family member, as appropriate.
Basic Requirements
Our pardon if this seems obvious to you. Years ago we would have considered it strange that we need to say it. However, we now know it has to be said.
We expect people to turn up on time, be clean, reasonably well groomed, properly and unambiguously dressed. By that we mean that applicants must be consistently dressed either as a man or a woman. Moreover that if cross-dressed, the overall effect must be wholly credible. In the verbal and body language, grooming, hair-style as well as the clothes. This applies particularly for interview, but is also true at any other time for anybody who wants to be associated with us in public.
Turning up in male attire, but sporting earrings in both ears, a hair slide, woman's handbag, stretch pants or any other girlie touch, accessory or accoutrement is, in our view taking the mickey. You have an absolute right to make a fool of yourself, look ridiculous or make yourself a target for the ignorant, prejudiced or ill-informed. However our's is a very small city. We choose to be discreet, to not embarrass ourselves, our friends, family or neighbours by making any sort of outward show or display. You do not have the right to embarrass us!
In private we do accept cross-dressing where the overall effect is less than wholly convincing, (indeed we quite enjoy our staff doing so), but anyone so dressed must do their best to behave consistent with the way they dress in every way possible. We don't accept people who want to both dress as a woman and retain their beard, or cross-dress but not try to modify their voice or body-language. (Except perhaps as paying customers in the classroom, in marginal cases.)
On arrival we expect that applicants will be familiar with and observe all the normal social conventions. We don't demand obsequious behaviour, indeed it is usually embarrassing. However we do expect an appropriate measure of respect. Anybody coming here must be able and willing to follow instructions. They must accept that we have the right to comment on and correct any mistakes in their work. Further they have to accept that rudeness, sulks, surliness, tantrums and all other such childish showing off are as unacceptable in our workplace as in any other.
If you help here you are trading your time at work for our attention. The work you will be doing, typically print-finishing for Sir Guy, or cleaning for Miss Prim. It isn't well-paid in the straight world. We'd have to offer only the minimum wage if we went to recruit at the Job Centre. We're running a business. We price our time by dividing our costs by hours we work. If you do an average 8 hour day for Sir Guy and he spends more than an hour supervising you, then he gains little by your work. If Miss Prim takes half an hour, then she's losing out. If that level of attention is not enough for you, then essentially you pay us.
If this seems daunting, then I'd add that we don't claim to be model employers. (In many ways this is Miss Prim's attraction to many potential employees.) So we do not demand that our helpers be perfect - only that they accept a duty to try!
Maid
We get most volunteers for this. We employ several from time to time, though not for money. Sometimes at home, Sir Guy's workshop, places we have schools, other events. We even send maids out to other events too, when asked.
However we find many would-be maids are more interested in dressing and getting their Mistress's attention, than working. So Miss Prim only sees new maids for interview if they join The Academy Club and pay the same interview fee as a would-be Muir schoolgirl.
We've found that most unsuitable people won't pay, but those who in the end turn out to be very useful (and get a lot of fun out of it) are prepared to pay initially.
Slave
As for a maid, but more so! A would-be slave must expect expect to pay for the interview and later visits. The supervision needed means full-time attention. We've tried dozens and never found a slave able to do work that is more useful to us than if we'd spent the time doing what we needed to do without them. Others find the same. However, a butler or footman may be more useful, we've not tried that.
Clerk Or Secretary
Sir Guy now has the work to employ people full-time, the space and facilities too. The work is essential, so we pay a modest wage. If added to the value of the accommodation offered, (small guest bedroom with en-suite facilities and all found), the pay is comparable with such work elsewhere. It means dealing with orders, packing, managing post, data-entry, typing, proof-reading, duplicating, collating, stapling, stuffing envelopes. No particular office experience is needed, but it helps.
You will need good English, dexterity, ability to listen to instructions, do them reliably, stick at work until it's finished. A sense of humour, ability to make and keep things tidy, to work under stress, be flexible and adaptable all help too.
Miss Prim also sometimes needs clerical help. If so she co-opts whoever is working for Sir Guy. There's no vacancy for anybody who will only work for her.
Clerk
To help at times of peak work-load, e.g. just before and after a mailing we need people here for a week or more at a time and/or on a couple of days of the week, to do either the sort of work the 'secretary' does, or that of casual staff, see below. We pay a little for this, but not as much as for full-time help.
Casual Staff
If you can offer several days work, on a one-off or occasional basis, you're welcome to come and try here. Generally you'll get the more repetitive work, though anybody with e.g. carpentry, joinery or engineering skills may well find them something to do, such as putting up a shelf or building a pony-cart!
Rewards
Anybody working here does so on a casual basis. Any cash pay the day, negotiable individually. We don't usually pay casual staff much, we have enough volunteers without - they take their benefits wholly 'in kind'.
Any 'attention' is awarded for good work. If you make mistakes you just get to correct them &/or do the job again. If you get it wrong too often or make errors deliberately to try to seek attention you don't get invited to come back.
Anybody working here who wishes to cross-dress, (or in any other fetish style), may do so, normally. If you want to be treated as a young, female, office worker, then Sir Guy will be happy to oblige, flirting with you, putting you over his knee, bending you over a desk or whatever, if you can carry off the rôle and it is fun for all concerned! He will discuss with you on first meeting how far you'd want to take it and go no further than your limits. Similar words apply to Miss Prim.
It is also worth noting that helpers working with either Sir Guy or Miss Prim, sometimes find that they are unhappy about some aspect of the regime, but unwilling to raise the subject directly for fear of 'breaking rôle'. In such cases a word with the other partner can clear the air simply and without embarrassment.
Note it is a NO SMOKING office & household. If you cross-dress, or unusually you will not be allowed outside to smoke, unless you change first.
Markets
Sir Guy sometimes goes to Fetish Markets in London, Birmingham or elsewhere or attend club events with a stall. If you come along you can meet others in the scene in a relaxed atmosphere. Parking, bar, food, no kids, no pets, etc. small entry fee. Typically doors open 11 am, close 5.30 pm.
For markets we need help making display stands, pricing goods, loading the car, spelling Sir Guy on the drive, unloading, manning the stall, loading up, driving back & sorting out afterwards. It can be a long day; up at 6 am, leave Hereford at 7.00 am, arrive at 10.00 to set up the stall, home at 11.00 pm.
Helpers often dress as schoolgirls or maids, or are even harnessed up as ponies. Sometimes bent over the stall for Miss Prim, Sir Guy or a customer to try out our implements. Even get to demonstrate the effects of these implements on potential customers. (Though this is a privilege only usually extended to Miss Prim or Matron.) As well as selling from the stall they'll be asked to fetch coffee, pack canes, etc. Despite all this we find our helpers, whether they come with us or meet us there, do enjoy themselves and come back for more.
Modelling
We can often use models for illustrations in The Muir Journal and The Other Pony Express, book covers, etc. Mostly young ladies, also attractive but older &/or more Dominant looking ladies, young gentlemen and older 'Dom' gents. Sometimes too, we can use reasonably good-looking transvestites or trans-sexuals.
Our rule of thumb, is that we don't offer payment unless the model could command reasonable fees elsewhere, we absolutely need that model, or somebody else is paying. The models, even the unpaid ones, do have to be very good-looking, though not necessarily young, particularly the gentlemen. Just because you want to do outrageous things does not mean the resulting pictures will look good!
What we usually do is to run a specific event that is free to the participants, on the understanding that they are prepared to be photographed as they participate. All models must sign a release, as shown on page 14.
Audio, Video Recording
We've made one video, Skool's A Pain and many audio recordings. There may come another such time, although we have no plans to do it in the near future.
Pet Pony, Dog, Etc.
You could be Sir Guy's pony, dog or even pig, indeed a nice bitch around the office would be fun. However it doesn't help get the work done at all. Particularly for a pony, as such play will absorb his time as well as perhaps somebody else acting as groom. So if that is what you want to do you have to earn the right with hard cash or work, as a model, clerk or whatever. If you want to be a pony, the rate is several days work for an hour or two's play.
Are You Really Suitable?
Before you rush your application off, do just ask this question of yourself, please. (Our pardon to those who have faced the questions and know the answer, but we just feel that the points do have to be made.)
As people in an established scene business our situation is, in many respects, the opposite of that of our customers. We're lucky enough that with the friends, contacts, knowledge and opportunities available to us we could play all day and every day with friends, in any scene that takes our fancy. However we also have the very significant costs of running the household and business. So we can't and don't.
The result is that we can only offer a position in order to actually get work done. It may be to save us time or expense, or to earn money for the business. We just do not have the time or inclination to do it for just "play value" to ourselves.
We find that some volunteers do not appreciate this. Their interest is solely in what we have to offer and what they can get out of their time here. This fascination can outweigh considerations of what they will be doing to help us. As in most other fields in life, what you get out of it will depend on what you put in.
Anybody coming here be capable of, and fully prepared to do, most aspects of the type of work for which they were recruited, for long periods of time, effectively and efficiently, with little or no supervision.
We do expect that a parlour-maid can and will do without protest all the various sorts of cleaning and ironing needed, a kitchen maid can do at least basic cooking as well as cleaning the oven, a secretary can and will do the filing, as well as typing.
An appropriate degree of politeness and respect to the role, time and place is needed too. According to the people involved and the circumstances this means anything from the obsequious "Yes Sir", "No Ma'am", with curtseying at every turn, etc., that is appropriate to a junior maid when in the presence of important guests, to the distinctly casual habits of people who know each other well and acknowledge each other to be equals. However it does mean that open rudeness, throwing tantrums, shouting, interrupting others, etc., are as rude in these circumstances, as in any other polite company and are totally unacceptable.
It is of no benefit to us if we have to instruct or supervise for longer than it takes us to do the job ourselves, each and every time. Similarly it is worse than useless if we find that afterwards we to have to go around and do the job all over again!
We have some applicants saying e.g., "I'll do it, but not if there are any men about." We guarantee that e.g. if you do not want to be ordered about or disciplined by a man whilst in role, and we recruit you for a role where it's possible, then that'll not occur. However it means you will thereby be less useful than somebody who does not have that reservation. Opportunities where no men (or no women) are present are rare and not always predictable in advance. We'd rather they be a treat to somebody who appreciates them as a bonus, but doesn't so limit the help they give.
Of course we will instruct those to whom such duties are new. We'll give the benefit of the doubt too, to anybody who is unsure whether they can do it, or whether they will enjoy so doing. Certainly once, twice if necessary. Whether they get a third chance will depend on the circumstances. As in any other workplace anybody who does not pull their weight or wastes the time of others by an inability to adapt to the job must find a position elsewhere.
We sometimes find staff deliberately making mistakes in order to "earn" attention of the sort they desire, i.e. corporal punishment or the like. Be aware this the quickest route to being shown the door! We enjoy giving such attention, our staff enjoy getting it, so we bestow it as reward not a penalty. We cannot afford to alienate our customers by shoddy goods or slow service.
A little cheek or lapses from full and obsequious respect, provided you remain in role, is OK. It just may suggest to your Master or Mistress that you're ready to accept such attention. It's fully in keeping with the scenario. It may lead to the desired attention. But only if they feel it's deserved, have the time and inclination. Such attention is only guaranteed if you pay for it!
By the way, if this sets you thinking & wondering whether you can 'come up to our standards', then you'll probably be OK. If on the other hand you're sure there'll be no problem, then there may well be problems in store!
© The Academy Club, PO Box 135, Hereford, HR2 7PE, UK August 1997
The Next Step
Working From Home
Writers, Illustrators, Craft Workers, etc.
The simplest thing to do is to send a completed form, as page 11, ideally with a sample of your work in to Sir Guy, either by snail-mail to
PO Box 135, Hereford, HR2 7WL, UK
or by email:use this form.
&/or phone him on: 01432 343100 / 44 1432 343100 from overseas
He will respond & indicate whether such work would be of interest to us, suggest any ways the product could be improved &/or changed to suit the market-place better.
Type, Scan, Proof, Sub-Edit
Contact Sir Guy, as above. He will send you some sample work to do.
Remember that the things he wants is a quick turn-around and high degree of accuracy. What he does not want is slow service, poor work or having his instructions ignored, being pestered with queries or otherwise have time wasted.
Working Away
Please send a completed form in to us, with some notes as to any relevant previous experience, etc., whether it be in a 'straight' workplace or 'in the scene'.
Include some idea of what you seek, and some personal details etc.
A photo or two would be appreciated too, 'dressed' &/or 'straight'. Nothing rude, no private parts or things you'd not do in public (albeit at a scene club).!
No long letters please, keep it short, simple, to the point, neat & easily read.
Maids, Slaves
Such a position is only mostly useful to Miss Prim. If that's what you want then see the next para. below. If instead you'd like to work for Sir Guy at e.g. a Pony Weekend, then see as for Secretaries, Clerks, Casual Help in the next section.
Miss Prim will only see Members of The Academy Club or The Other Pony Club. Even so cases she charges œpound;100, half paid in advance, as for a pupil at The Muir Academy. When you join The Muir Academy you will get a full Prospectus & Interview Guide. If you're coming from The Other Pony Club Sir Guy can send you a copy of The Academy Club Interview Guide. Please send £5/US$12.
You will have to ring Miss Prim direct to make an appointment. Her phone number is only available to Members of The Academy Club. At an interview as maid or slave the only essential differences from that for school are that you will wear clothes & carry out duties appropriate to the different role
Secretaries, Clerks, Casual Help
An interview with Sir Guy is essential, at Hereford. If you want to meet him first, to e.g. reasure yourself that you can get along with & work with him, then it is possible to meet at the London Fetish Fair or Market, see previous page. It may avoid an abortive trip to Hereford. Particularly valuable if you are a trans-sexual or want to travel to interview cross-dressed. If you're in this catagory please, at least, send a photo, dressed. We'll not proceed with the interview if you are too easily 'read'.
If you travel by train or coach we can meet you at the station. If you drive a suitable rendezvous will be set. Either way the interview will be the same format as an interview with Miss Prim. First meet at an agreed rendezvous for a chat. Then back to the office for more in-depth talking. Then a trial period of work, with a chat afterwards. If you 'dress', please bring clothes you consider appropriate to the role.
Models, Actors & Pets. etc.
Also send a photo of yourself, dressed as closely to what you'd be wearing for the camera as you can. Note we don't fake 'action' or sound effects, we do it for real!
And Then...
You will normally be told there & then whether you have been accepted, unless several candidates have been interviewed. Then we'll let you know later.
If you are accepted, then we may get in touch when we need help, by phone, e-mail, letter or whatever.
However if you call in from time to time, when you know you may have free time, then you will stand a much better chance of doing a spell here, as often we're too busy doing the job to make the time to phone around to recruit staff.